I am a yoga teacher.
About 6-months ago I would have thought…
“yeah I’m going to learn a lot through this journey because how could you not in a 5-month course and I’ll probably make a few friends too”
“it will be great to add yoga to my toolbox of things to use with clients”…
Wow this experience has been so far beyond any of that.
I knew I would make friends, but I had no idea I would walk away with 12 sisters and a brother. I have so much love for all of them and I believe and trust in all of them 100%. Each one of them has taught me a lesson about myself or about life, has brought me further in my practice (both on and off my mat), and simply has helped me open up to be a brighter version of myself and love that person more.
As I sit here with a beer and my Cal-Pal at my side I’m just reflecting on how fast the past 5-months have gone. Where I was then and where I am now.
Then I was pretty scattered. I was very conflicted about where to go next with my career, where Blake and I going to live after the wedding, what happens when we have kids, if/when we do have kids and stay here what do we do. There was a lot of useless planning and idea writing that was just done to be done. There was no true intention or passion behind most of it. There was just a lot of this uncertainty and ‘AHHHH’ going on…
Now, I feel confident that I will find my path. I feel more grounded. I trust the universe and spirit to guide me towards what’s next. And although I’ve always liked that idea that the universe will guide me…I can sit in that space more comfortably now and really believe it.
I was meant to take this training and go on this journey with this group of people for a reason. I feel it. This has taught me that sometimes all you need is to sit back a little and keep you’re eyes open for a sign. Believe in yourself and believe in a higher power. What or whoever you call it. I call it the universe or spirit. Some may call it god or the divine. But believing in that power can lead to just such wonderfully magical things. *sigh*
Today was graduation day. This morning I cried my whole 10-minute drive to the studio. I was sad, excited, but mostly proud. So proud of all of us for completing this journey, sharing, and opening up to one another.
I was the first to teach for our class today. I stood there and began to tear up almost immediately. I tried to explain how proud I was of all of us and how intense and love-filled this journey has been for all of us and how important each and every one of my fellow trainees have been to me along the way and now forever. A true awakening, discovery to your true self. I have no idea if that got across because I was crying…but that’s what I meant!
I looked over in the corner where my yoga family was, and I immediately felt a blanket of support. Have you ever had the experience of “yes! I will remember this moment for the rest of my life”. Where you notice that you are fully aware of what you are seeing, feeling, hearing, smelling? When this happens it’s just so magical. It’s like you’re intentionally storing something sacred in a safe but easy to access box. When I looked at them in the corner smiling back at me, I knew I would never forget that moment. The faces smiling back at me (some teary-eyed), my blurry vision from my tears pooling, my shortness of breath from holding back my hysterical tears, my raw-ness in front of everyone who was in that room. Feelings of brightness, encouragement, support, strength, empowerment, and LOVE is what I felt. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.
No matter what I did or said next it didn’t matter because I knew that they were there. I was so proud of them, and as I looked at them I could see that they were so proud of me. I was home.
I will never forget this.
“Childs pose” I called as soon as I got my bearings and everyone went. I was grounded. From that point on, the next 6-minutes of my teaching was simply empowering. I felt my passion, my inner light, and my love spread from wall to wall. I was teaching from my heart.
As each of my classmates got up after me, that feeling of teaching from love and passion continued. The class was just filled with this amazing energy. Emotion of all kinds swirled through the air and in the bodies of all who were there. Magic.
I’m still sad that this particular journey has come to an end because it was just so incredibly special! I know for certain that the past 5-months have made an enormous impact on anything and everything that I do in the future. Because it was so impactful it’s almost hard to imagine how anything can top it, but I suppose I have to be OK with the fact that maybe nothing ever will.
I am however, really excited to get out there and share what I’ve learned. Allow others to feel what I have felt. Inspire others to dive deep into themselves. Provide space for others to shine and explore who they are at the deepest level.
I am also reassured that I will continue my close relationships with my new family through monthly potlucks and team teaching events. 🙂 5-months ago I felt that I had no friends in a 15-mile radius. It was a lonely place. Now I have 13 amazing friends/family members! I could not feel more lucky and blessed.
It will be a different journey from here on out, a new chapter. The only part that sucks is that this particular chapter was just so darn good!!! The rest of the book has a tough act to follow 😉